February 2010
36 posts
Pretty sure not even Google or Wikipedia know or care what the Asian guy in the Black Eyed Peas name is.
January 2010
82 posts
3 tags
This bar smells like rape and failed JV football careers.
2 tags
It’s pathetic when a corporate coffee shop is playing music that you were into like 4 years ago as if it’s the new hot thing.
Listening to Michael Buble is so 2006.
Fuck you, Starbucks.
If I haven’t eaten all day and just smoked three cigarettes back to back I’m still ok to drive right?
Sincerity
Thank you, blonde lady in your late 30’s with huge fake boobs who just jogged through the Coffee Bean parking lot in short shorts and lycra sports top with no bra.
Seriously, that was really cool of you. Thanks.
Decisions, Decisions
I’m at a show in San Diego waiting to go up on stage. There is an extremely retarded kid sitting in the front row. The climax of my first story has a retarded boy getting attacked by a shark on his porch on Christmas Eve. Fuck me. Who brings a retarded kid to a college bar comedy show? In about 15 minutes I’ll be turning the retarded kid in my story into an autistic boy in a...
3 tags
Dear Sluts,
Shiny tights and a blazer are not a daytime outfit.
Probably not a nighttime one either, unless you’re running your own small business out of the adult classifieds section Craigslist or back of the LA Weekly.
Just thought you should know.
Yours in Christ,
Dan Bialek
3 tags
WatchBobby Bottleservice Tshirt Ideas for Jersey Shore @nickkroll is pretty freaking funny.
Join my Facebook Group so I can come perform in... →
4 tags
Judging from the trailer I saw tonight MacGruber looks MacShitty.
Everytime someone passes me speaking loudly in an English accent at The Grove I seriously consider accepting religion and taking Jesus Christ into my heart. So I can pray to Him asking for their fiery death.
You should legally be able to run over people in your car who are texting or talking on their phones as they cross the street. Or, at least I should.
If anyone lost a pair of sunglasses at Saturday night’s 12 Shiny Nickels Show we found and pair and have them. Email us through the website and we’ll get them back to you.
1 tag
A cute 22-year-old girl just passed me on the street and called me “sir” when she asked to borrow my lighter. Her friend started laughing hysterically at this. But not before I had begun to sob uncontrollably.
1 tag
1 tag
I don’t know why everybody’s bitching about the Supreme Court ruling today allowing corporations to make unlimited political contributions.
I’ve been dying to live in a dystopian Blade Runner future.
Now I’ll finally get my wish.
Keith Olbermann makes me feel great about how shitty things are.
I will watch me the shit out of Burn Notice when it’s on Tivo.
